10,000 hours

I wrote a while back about mastering a craft. Any craft, as long as it is something for which we are passionate. The sense of accomplishment and the absolute thoroughness with which we understand something – so much that it becomes a part of us – has no equal.

I recently picked up the book Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. The second chapter is one of the most simultaneously inspiring and terrifying parts of the book. The author makes the claim that in order to truly master an art or a craft, one must practice that specific task for 10,000 hours.

Think about that. If you practice for eight hours a day, seven days a week, it will take you 1,250 days, which is 178.5 weeks, which is 3.4 years. 8 hours/day, 7 days/week. And don’t forget about social obligations – family, friends – and, oh yeah! You have to make money during this time. And did you want weekends off? You can do the math at this point because the lessons from Algebra 3 have abandoned me.

Gladwell asserts his claim through the examination of influential people throughout history, notably Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and The Beatles, and discusses how, through a combination of opportunity and drive, they achieved their 10,000 hours of practice before they achieved greatness. Even Mozart, he says, who started composing music at the age of six, didn’t truly become a master composer until he had been practicing for 10 years. And he didn’t produce his “greatest work” until he had been practicing for 20.

Yikes.

a master of one

Jeff Goins discusses this concept with one of his recent blog posts, Why Being a Jack of All Trades Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up to Be. In the post, he references one of my favorite books, The 50th Law by Robert Greene, and its reference to the same principle:

The fools in life want things fast and easy – money, success, attention. Boredom is their great enemy and fear. Whatever they manage to get slips through their hands as fast as it comes in. You, on the other hand, want to outlast your rivals. You are building the foundation for something that can continue to expand.

To make this happen, you will have to serve an apprenticeship. You must learn early on to endure the hours of practice and drudgery, knowing that in the end all of that time will translate into a higher pleasure – mastery of a craft and of yourself. Your goal is to reach the ultimate skill level – an intuitive feel for what must come next.

That quote is amazing, and props to Goins for including it in his post. He then goes on to pose the question: Is it better to be a jack of all trades or pursue mastery? Eighty-three responses (as of now) flesh out the blog post with tons of interesting perspectives and ideas, all with their own merit for either side of the coin.

What are your thoughts? Do you want to put your 10,000 hours toward one goal, toward one task, or would you rather have a broader distribution of knowledge about many things? I think in part it depends on your profession and circumstance. But no matter what you do for a living, no matter your situation, I believe the readers of this blog (you) can find a way to get to 10,000 hours if you so choose. It just may take a bit longer than 10 years…

For myself, I choose mastery. I choose 10,000 hours. In a way I have to choose mastery. My craft demands no less and I would never think of under-delivering. People can see through crap. And my shit’s gonna be opaque.

motivational mondays – the amish project

A friend recently posted a link on my Facebook wall – I’m assuming it was in response to my post from a couple weeks ago: the importance of disconnecting, but I could be wrong . The link took me to a story about a 24-year-old college student named Jake Reilly who embraced a technology-free lifestyle for 90 days, eliminating his cell phone, social media accounts and email. He dubbed these 90 days “The Amish Project,” and found his way to a more fulfilling lifestyle than he had ever known:

• He forged a deeper relationship with his closest friends
• He realized some of his closest friends weren’t so close after all
• He revived a dying romance
• Experienced higher levels of productivity
• Got better grades
• Got creative with ways he had fun – and had more of it
• Started meditating

Think of how much time we waste mindlessly combing through online platforms, reading articles, watching YouTube videos and cyber-stalking. Most times when we engage in activities like that, we enter what my mentor calls “robot mode.” No thought required. Just mindless online navigation, reading or watching what other people wrote or made.

Maybe it’s time to wake up.
Maybe it’s time to come back to reality.
Maybe it’s time to experience real life once again.

If you’re looking for ways to change your life for the better, form good habits and eliminate bad ones, or just simply be happier, a trial run akin to Reilly’s Amish Project is a great way to start.

motivational mondays: creating good habits without goals

To quote an old apothegm:
“We are what we repeatedly do.”
- Aristotle

Simply put: We are our actions.
Another way: We are our habits.

If we smoke regularly, we are a smoker. If we exercise regularly, we are in shape. If we eat the right foods, we are healthy.

(Keep in mind, I’m tailoring this down to its simplest form. I understand much more complexity exists within the boundaries I’m laying out, but, in the theme of this post, something is much easier to grasp when pared down to utter simplicity.)

The question now, is how do we create good habits instead of bad ones?

how I’ve created good habits

Since I left my 9-5 job, I’ve created a plethora of good, healthy habits – most times without even meaning to. A mindset that I’ve always found hard to adopt, but have seen repeatedly work in my own life, is that of living without goals. Leo Babauta sums it up incredibly well with his blog post: the best goal is no goal. Even Seth Godin, marketing extraordinaire, has an interesting perspective on a similar vein of thought.

This mindset goes against everything I’ve been raised to believe. In middle school we learned the importance of setting goals to improve ourselves. My father preached to me the importance of having five-year goals and ten-year goals. While I never did this, I still always thought, based on what everyone was telling me, that was the way to get things done.

My own real-life examples say just the opposite.

Now I’m not saying that living with goals is a bad thing or doesn’t work. As the newer, slightly sexual adage goes: “Different strokes for different folks.”

But allow me to lay down a few examples for you. Some of the good, enduring habits I have formed in the past seven months are:

Eating healthier

In June I decided I wanted to try Tim Ferris’ 4-Hour Body diet for losing weight. I didn’t need to lose weight, I was just curious to see if it worked. I went on the “formal” diet plan and it fell apart within two weeks.

Then, some time in August, I decided to start cutting to the core of his philosophy and just nixed white carbs (breads, rice, flour-based foods, etc.). Since then, I would say I cut down on my white carb intake by 90%, vastly increasing my consumption of vegetables, fruits and legumes, along with a healthy intake of meats.

I didn’t set any goals. I didn’t follow any plans. I just did what I wanted to do, knowing it was healthy for me. And I enjoy it. I feel better.

Writing daily

I abhor the daily word count goal. It stresses me out and I’ve had mini-anxiety attacks when I don’t meet it. In November I created a nice habit by mixing a goal with the concept of living without goals. I declared that I would write 3,000 words a day, or roughly 100,000 words in the month. For those of you that aren’t familiar with word counts – that’s a freaking book.

I wrote 55,000 words that month. About a week into it I realized I wasn’t going to hit my goal. I accepted that fact and, remarkably, ceased worrying about it. Instead of focusing on the goal, I kept in mind that I wanted to produce a higher volume than Stephen King and just rolled with the daily writing. Whatever I got down on paper, I got down on paper. Whatever I didn’t, I didn’t. And I was content.

Now I don’t focus so much on word count, as much as my smokin’ hot girlfriend says I should , but rather on writing the things I want to write. I’ve made more progress these past two weeks on my novel than I’ve made in the past two months when I kept trying to make goals.

Stretching daily

In mid-December I made a list of workout goals I wanted to achieve. It set an incredibly high standard and I should have known I wouldn’t have even come close to meeting it. I wrote it all out, printed it up, and never looked at it again. As I said in the writing daily piece above, having daily goals like this stresses me out, because if I don’t do it I feel like I’m falling behind and have to re-evaluate and readjust – steps that take more admin time than I’m willing to put forth.

Since then, I’ve thrown that list of workout goals in the garbage and have focused on a few things at a time, the primary exercise being stretching. Since mid-December, I have stretched out almost daily and noticed a substantial increase in my flexibility. My sideways split has increased by seven inches, and I’m incredibly close to touching my chest to my thigh with little to no warm-up. And all this without goals. I stretch simply for the enjoyment of the physical accomplishment.

Learning new things – all the time

Neuroscience, Taoism, medieval society, the Beatniks, new words, barefoot running – these are all things I have a strong desire to learn about. Instead of laying out goals filled with books I wanted to read by certain times, I just learned what I wanted to learn when I wanted to learn it. And I haven’t stopped. I’m all sorts of smart now!! (if only…)

Final example:

Over the summer I lifted weights nearly every day for three months straight. Without fail. I was excited when I saw results, which I noticed on a weekly basis. Whether it was getting more cut in my glamor muscles, as my brother would say, or increasing weight – which I knew to be muscle weight – I saw results regularly. My lifting threshold would increase, my max increased by 40 lbs, and, in direct proportion, increased my esteem regarding my physical appearance and sense of well-being.

All this I did without goals. As soon as I returned from Nicaragua this past October, I laid out a weight-lifting regimen.

I stopped going to the gym after that.

living in the moment

Bottom line(s):

• Find something you love doing and just do it.
• Find something that makes you feel good and just do it.
• Find something that can improve the quality of your life and just do it.

But START SMALL! Nothing is as conducive to putting the brakes on a good habit as the “all or nothing” mentality. Start small, then, as you get more comfortable, work your way up the ladder.

Without goals, you may be surprised by just how high you can climb.

the importance of disconnecting

As written Wednesday night, 1/18 at 11:30 p.m:

I’ve spent the past 54 hours disconnected from the world save via my phone (which is a dumb phone, so no web access, thank JC). Posting a Motivational Monday blog post, I disappeared from the World Wide Web for more than two days, and must say it was one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced.

No Facebook + No Twitter + No email = A Little Slice of Heaven

In my limited experience as a feeble human being on this raped planet we call Earth, I have had the good fortune to not always be ultimately reliable upon the internet, search engines, word documents and online porn. It is through this experience that I have come to realize the benefits of disconnecting from the online world. I understand this is not a new concept, but stick with me on this one.

Think of how often you’re texting on your phone when you’re out with friends or family. Think of how often you’re surfing the web on your smart phone for something that can wait til later. Think of how many miscommunications we have via these channels because the receiving end misconstrues a word or phrase, not being party to the intended inflection and body language. We have become slaves to immediate gratification, losing one of the most important (and undervalued) qualities in the world today: patience. In a paraphrased quote from Einstein: “Our technology has exceeded our humanity.” (and that was before the World Wide Web)

microcosms

Straight up: Communication technology, while having its benefits, is virtually destroying our ability to effectively communicate, while simultaneously killing our appreciation for the world around us.

Some examples:

1. A couple years ago I was on a first date when about an hour into it she told me how thankful she was that I hadn’t brought out my phone once. Sad, but true.

2. I have a very good friend who has nearly all of her important conversations with potential partners via text message. Whenever she says, “So I was talking with so-and-so the other day…” my immediate response is “Talking or texting?” It’s nearly always the latter. And she wonders why she gets into a lot of arguments with these people. . .

3. People get into heated arguments on Facebook and then let it carry over into real life when they next see this person. I used to be like this, but I sought help. If you find yourself in similar circumstances currently but are unwilling to change, I have a loaded glock and a full bottle of sleeping pills – take your pick.

4. When I worked a white collar job, I would walk in every day to at least 50+ emails of varying natures. I know people who walk in to many more than that. Information overload and more than half of it is white noise.

5. About a month ago on a freak day in the midst of a Cleveland winter when it was 50 degrees and sunny, a girl was walking across a cross-walk in a major intersection with her phone in front of her face, either texting or surfing the Web. Just as she stepped out, an SUV was accelerating toward the walk and almost hit her. The driver was also on her phone, except talking. The walker called the driver a cunt, and the driver, window down, shouted profanities.

For me, all of this serves as a fruitful definition of insanity.

A final note: My main concern is with communication technology – not necessarily information technology (although I understand the lines between the two are more and more blurred every day). While I think there is still value associated with hard copies of Britannica, one cannot deny the effectiveness of search engines and information sharing on the World Wide Web. And I also understand the value of these kinds of communications in emergency situations – I have no doubt it has saved many lives and helped to avoid harmful situations. But, like anything, when taken to the extreme it can do more harm than good. Another fitting apothegm: “Just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should.”

Maybe the next time we’re on our phone, texting or surfing the Web or even talking, we should stop, put technology away, and take in what is around us:

real life

.

motivational mondays – snow driven

It’s January. With January comes winter. With winter comes snow. With snow comes fun commutes. With fun commutes comes hydroplaning, skidding semi-stops and driving your cop car backward off a steep embankment (see: Die Hard).

While this taciturn white precipitation lies silently in wait, eagerly anticipating the next unsuspecting automobile operator to overcompensate on a skid, there isn’t a day goes by where people don’t bitterly complain about driving in the snow.

To them I say: shut up and pay attention.

a brief summation about why we should love driving in the snow

Driving in the snow ain’t so bad. Right up front, here are a few distinct advantages:

• Keeps your senses alert and your mind/body in tune with your actions
• Places you more in the moment
• Challenges you
• Allows you to run red lights pseudo-legally
• Allows you to be late for work and have a valid excuse
• Allows you to sleep in and be “accidentally” late for work (see above)

See? Advantages galore.

The reality of the situation is this: driving in the snow is a minor frustration, nothing more. Like any so-called minor frustration, if we view it negatively, our stress levels rise, we become angry, and toxic emotions rise to the surface, inhibiting the potential to live a joyful life. But like anything else, when viewed from a positive light (such as the reasons above . . . well, the first three anyway), the endorphins begin to flow, our minds become more alert and our synapses fire a little bit faster, increasing our reaction speed to possibly dangerous situations and allowing us to appreciate life just a little bit more.

Snow, like rain, is a natural part of life that many of us allow to negatively affect our moods day in and day out. Why can’t we simply embrace the natural course of the seasons instead of shunning them? Why can’t we be grateful that something as simple as precipitation does fall, granting life to everything around us, including ourselves?

a brief summation about why we should love life

Come on – you knew I had to make the correlation to daily living eventually!

Rainer Maria Rilke said in Letters to a Young Poet, “…that something is difficult must be a reason the more for us to do it.” Life should be difficult. Anything worth attaining should not just be handed to us, but rather earned through hard work and toil, through blood, sweat and tears. As the Buddhists say, “Life means suffering,” and those who do not suffer can never know what it is to be truly content (not that difficult work implies suffering, but for many it can sometimes be the case).

In this modern age of advanced technology and countless conveniences, this can be a hard mentality to adopt: everything is just so easy. We can fly across the United States in just a few hours. We can heat up cold food in a microwave. We can keep warm in the middle of January in Minnesota without huddling around a big hearth fire. We can get surgery on our eyes to get perfect vision. Plastic surgery. Television. Electricity. Snow blowers. Planes, trains and automobiles. Daily life has turned from hardship to easy in a matter of just a couple hundred years. And so many of us take advantage without even realizing it, myself very much included.

This ease of living, this convenience, can prove a very dangerous thing indeed, for it can make us lazy.

If we let it.

There’s a certain mentality that says if you’re doing something and it’s easy then you’re probably doing it wrong. We fall into lulls, we become complacent, we stop trying to improve ourselves: mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. Complacency is the worst type of crime. The people we quote on Facebook did not earn the right to be quoted on mere presence alone.

Doing what I do now – writing – I have to motivate myself every day to sit down, eliminate distractions, and put words down on a blank page. Day in and day out. As much as I love writing, it’s the hardest thing I’ve had to do all my life. And by that fact, coupled with my passion, I understand that it’s worth it.

So the next time we do something difficult, the next time we drive to work in the snow, realize that the difficult gets easier with practice. With hard work. With living in the moment and bettering ourselves each and every day in some small way.

So let’s head out onto that snow-packed pavement and just drive.

experience it

Think about your last disappointment. Was it a movie you saw? A book you read? A date you went on? Or maybe it was just this past New Year’s Eve? Now that you’ve brought it to mind, ask yourself: “Why was I disappointed with the experience?” Chances are we’ll say something like: “The movie wasn’t as good as the previews made it out to be,” or, “The girl was attractive but had no personality,” or, “I didn’t find someone to kiss when midnight struck.” All valid reasons for disappointment. All understandable. And all our own fault.

accepting the blame for disappointment

Disappointment has one strong inherent implication, and that is that we expected something out of the experience based on our subjective view of past experiences and stories. We expected it to be good or bad, exciting or nerve-wracking, awkward or blissful. Now imagine a life of no disappointment.

Having no expectations is a powerful place to be. It allows us to enter every situation with a blank slate, with Locke’s tabula rasa. Why is this powerful? Because we go into everything with an open mind, not allowing stress to invade our mind or tensing our shoulders. We’re always pleasantly surprised, being closer to understanding that there is no good, there is no bad, there just is what is.

Accepting blame for something like this also teaches us another invaluable lesson. And that is humility. According to nearly every religious and philosophical doctrine, pride, or the sense of self, is the basis for all wrong, or all sin. That’s because it makes us act out of selfishness and greed, in direct disregard to others in order to advance ourselves. Imagine humbling ourselves by accepting the blame of what we deemed a negative situation. Imagine the power, the self-control, that brings.

don’t judge

We create our own reality. If a situation was bad, it’s because we made it bad. A car accident isn’t a bad thing. It’s an opportunity. For what? That’s up to us to figure out.

So when the next “negative” situation arises, we should take a step back and examine:

• Why is this a bad thing?
• What was my immediate reaction?
• Why did I react that way?
• Am I alive?

Then look closely at our answers (although the last one shouldn’t require too much deep thought). If we still have trouble grasping the concept, it can be helpful to turn to this famous Zen story for help:

Once there was an old farmer whose horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. “Such bad luck,” they said sympathetically.

“Maybe,” the farmer said.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three wild horses. “How wonderful,” the neighbors exclaimed.

“Maybe,” the farmer said.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune.

“Maybe,” the farmer said.

The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son’s leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well thins had turned out.

“Maybe,” the farmer said.

The neighbors viewed the events transpiring at the farmer’s home with judgment. Things were either good or bad, and their emotions were akin to a roller coaster in response. That’s exhausting and stress-inducing, which means it’s harmful to our health (literally) and takes years off our life. The farmer, however, kept an open mind, devoid of judgment, devoid of expectations. He was relaxed and in the flow, never allowing a circumstance to determine his emotional or mental state.

This philosophy is a mental attitude we adopt through consistent application, which will include its fair share of failure as well as success.

If you haven’t already, give it a shot – you may be pleasantly surprised.

top 10 books of 2011

Since July I’ve been knee deep in books. Literally. My roommates will tell you – I have books lying all around the house in varying states of disarray. If I have less than 20 books lying in piles around my room, I consider that poor form and rush to the bookstore. Wish I was kidding. “When I get a little money, I buy books. If any is left, I buy food and clothes.” – Erasmus

So because I’ve read more books in the past six months than I normally do in three years (one of many benefits to quitting the j-o-b), and because I know people like lists, I decided to make a Top 10 list that probably nobody will care about.

Here’s my Top 10 Books of 2011:

10. Anthill – E.O. Wilson

Genre: Fiction

Favorite line: “It was his island in a meaningless sea.”

Who would have thought ants could be so interesting? This is the story of Raff Cody, a southern boy battling the insanity of the world in all its complexity. Cody is a very rounded out protagonist: subtle but complex, passionate but not overzealous, and he fights throughout the novel to save a small tract of uninhabited land in Alabama. This protagonist had a distinct penchant for compromise. Most protagonists in our favorite stories are uncompromising men and women, and people view this as a heroic attribute. Rightly so, but sometimes it’s a man’s ability to compromise that makes him heroic, his ability to find the middle ground in a very tactful, albeit straightforward manner. Raff Cody does just that. Overall, this book was extremely well written and hosted a bevy of literary tools I can only hope to emulate in my own writing.

The climax could have used a bit of work, I thought, but who am I to criticize a Pulitzer Prize winner?

9. City of Thieves – David Benioff

Genre: Fiction

Favorite line: “The loneliest sound in the world is other people making love.”

A recent read, what struck me about City of Thieves was not the storyline so much, nor the characters (even though Kolya is an amazingly formulated one at that!), but rather the writing style. Framing his novel in the epically destitute and dreary setting of the siege of Leningrad during World War II, David Benioff paints a visual of Russian culture not many people have seen from an American writer. And he does this with a plot that revolves around two men of completely opposite natures searching far and wide for, quite simply, a dozen eggs. Easier said than done during a siege.

It’s easy to picture what Benioff puts down in words, describing only the necessary details, not delving too deep, and allowing the reader to toy with the setting and appearance of the characters, altering them to their heart’s content without losing the soul of the story. And with one hell of a climax, plus a neat final sentence (relates directly to one line in the first chapter), this book  has a very deserving spot in this top 10 list.

8. The Orc King – R.A. Salvatore

Genre: Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Favorite line: “…if dominance is attained and then maintained through strength of arm alone, then it is no victory, and it cannot be a permanent ordering.”

The title of this novel just screams “nerd.” R.A. Salvatore is an action-based, character-driven writer I discovered right out of college. I had always noticed his novels on Borders’ shelves, but when I finally picked up the first book in the very extended linear series of Drizzt Do’Urden, I was hooked. I read his first 10 books in two months and only tore myself away because I hadn’t read anything else in that time.

The Orc King is the continuation of Salvatore’s brilliance in his uncanny ability to discuss real-world issues via a fictional world filled with fictional characters and fictional plot lines. Whether it’s our inborn fear of death, of change, of discrimination, or of being alone, Salvatore captures it relentlessly in every novel. Racism and prejudice, fomented over millenia between two races, are the dominant themes in The Orc King. The reader identifies this trend while being sucked inexorably into the fast-moving, battle-filled storyline, and I think everyone who has read this hoped the dwarven king, Bruenor Battlehammer, would be able to look past his lifelong prejudices and realize that maybe his people could live in harmony with orcs.

But did he? You’ll just have to read it . . . along with the 16 books that precede it.

7. A Game of Thrones (reread) – George R.R. Martin

Genre: Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Favorite line: “‘Remember this boy. All dwarfs may be bastards, yet not all bastards need to be dwarfs.’ And with that he turned and sauntered back into the feast, whistling a tune. When he opened the door, the light from within threw his shadow clear across the yard, and for just a moment Tyrion Lannister stood as tall as a king.”

An engaging storyline filled with lords and peasants, kings and knights, princes and whores, A Game of Thrones has reached such a success threshold in part, I think, in that it caters directly to our classical view of the Middle Ages. Chock-full of knights in shining armor, mercenaries searching for a thrill and some coin, rulers passing ridiculous edicts and hanging criminals, and classy brothels where the word AIDS doesn’t exist, this first novel in an incredible fantasy saga is the best of all five thus far published.

Complete with boundless political intrigue, dark plots and tongue-curdling betrayals, this novel represents everything a fantasy novel should be. However, I wouldn’t have minded more descriptive fight scenes. But that’s just me!

6. Tao Te Ching – Lao Tsu

Genre: Religion / Spiritual / Philosophy

Favorite line: “Accept disgrace willingly; Accept misfortune as the human condition.” AND “Yield and overcome; Bend and be straight; Empty and be full; Wear out and be new; Have little and gain; Have much and be confused.”

The Tao Te Ching (pronounced more like dow day ying) is the central spiritual text upon which Taoism is based. This book, like the Christian Bible or the Muslim Qur’an, forms the basis upon which the entire belief system was founded. While many of the passages are slightly ambiguous, especially for those not familiar with eastern philosophy, the book provides an incredibly on-point doctrine in regard to how we should live our lives simply and peacefully and “become as a little child once more.” (you Christians hearing anything familiar here?) It discusses how we should avoid extremes and excesses while never becoming complacent. Minimalists will find a common resting ground in this short book, as well: “He who is attached to things will suffer much.”

I strongly – STRONGLY – recommend that everyone read this book. You don’t have to understand everything (I didn’t), but some key messages may strike home in one of the 81 short passages. And don’t say you don’t have time. You could legitimately read the Tao Te Ching in an hour.

And lastly, probably one of my favorite quotes and one from which we can all learn: “Keep your mouth shut, guard the senses, and life is ever full.” Einstein had a similar philosophy when he said: “If A equals success, then the formula is A equals X plus Y and Z, with X being work, Y play, and Z keeping your mouth shut.”

5. The Book of Lost Things – John Connolly

Genre: Fiction

Favorite line: “He always touched the faucets in the bathroom and the handles of the doors a certain number of times: odd numbers were bad, but even numbers were fine, with two, four, and eight being particularly favorable, although he didn’t care for six because six was twice three and three was the second part of thirteen, and thirteen was very bad indeed.”

This was a book I distinctly remember picking up in Borders this past summer. The cover artwork grabbed me immediately and I read most of the first chapter before I realized I’d been standing in someone’s way for quite a bit of time. Effectively parodying the classical fairytale, going so far as to open the book with “Once upon a time – for that is how all stories should begin,” The Book of Lost Things follows the tale of a boy named David who journeys to a fantastical neverland filled with wonders and strange creatures beyond count. Throughout his adventure, he encounters things that remind us (purposefully so) of our favorite stories of old, including Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, Sleeping Beauty and The Three Bears. Except Connolly puts a comic, and sometimes grotesque, spin on them. For example, the seven dwarves aren’t your typical hard-working, whistle-while-we-work kind of dwarves. They’re communists. And they’re hysterical. With mutterings of “rights,” “liberties,” and “the Great Struggle,” they clamor against capitalism and call one another comrade.

And it only gets better. No matter your favorite style of book, this one is masterfully written and will appeal to everyone. Then again, I thought that about Ordinary People. . .

4. The 50th Law – 50 Cent and Robert Greene

Genre: Business / Self-Help

Favorite line: “Events in life are not negative or positive. They are completely neutral. The universe does not care about your fate; it is indifferent to the violence that may hit you or to death itself. Things merely happen to you. It is your mind that chooses to interpret them as negative or positive. And because you have layers of fear that dwell deep within you, your natural tendency is to interpret temporary obstacles in your path as something larger – setbacks or crises.”

This was the most difficult book from which to choose a favorite line. Filled with a bevy of wisdom revolving around the central concept of fearlessness, this book was a major catalyst in propelling me to quit my white-collar job and pursue my passion. Strangely enough, I discovered it on my then-boss’s bookshelf

The favorite line above essentially sums up the book for me, personally. There is no good. There is no bad. There just is what is. This philosophy teaches us to adapt, to roll with the bunches (to be cliche). We don’t say “Oh shit!” when something “bad” happens, but rather we see an opportunity, we see an obstacle that will only challenge us and make us better.

The book has ten concepts defining this central theme of fearlessness:

1. See Things for What They Are (Intense Realism)
2. Make Everything Your Own (Self-Reliance)
3. Turn Shit Into Sugar (Opportunism)
4. Keep Moving (Calculated Momentum)
5. Know When to be Bad (Aggression)
6. Lead From the Front (Authority)
7. Know Your Environment from the Inside Out (Connection)
8. Respect the Process (Mastery)
9. Push Beyond Your Limits (Self-Belief)
10. Confront Your Mortality (The Sublime)

The viewpoint on opportunity was a major high point here. “According to conventional wisdom, an opportunity is something that exists out there in the world; if it comes our way and we seize it, it brings us money and power . . . This concept is extremely limited in scope. It makes us dependent on outside forces.” In essence, 50 and Greene preach that we should generate our own opportunities, not wait for them to come along. Those who are familiar with the New Thought movement, and books like The Secret, will be able to relate to that concept.

While I disagree at some points with 50 Cent and Robert Greene’s philosophy (I disagree with most of the chapter on Aggression, actually), 95% of this book is pure gold. Need some motivation to make a change in your life? Read this book.

3. The Art of Racing in the Rain – Garth Stein

Genre: Fiction

Favorite line: The entire 54th chapter. But, to get more specific: “It is better to drive within oneself and finish the race behind the others than it is to drive too hard and crash.”

If you don’t cry when you read this book, you don’t have a soul. This is the story of a family, discussed in continual analogies to race car driving, as seen from a dog’s perspective. Hooked yet?

It was fascinating, the things Garth Stein was able to effectively relay via a dog’s POV. The things many of us don’t even think about in our daily lives, the dog serves to enlighten us upon. Wiser than the vast majority of humans I know, Enzo puts forth the theory very early in the book that monkeys are not man’s closest relative, but rather that dogs are, and that, according to a Mongolian legend, a dog who is prepared will be reincarnated into a human. For scientific evidence to his claim, read the book.

Simultaneously humorous and heart-wrenching, tear-jerking and resigned-smile-inducing, The Art of Racing in the Rain will make you laugh and cry within seconds of each other time and again – no exaggeration. The best straight-up fiction novel I’ve read in a long time.

2. The Hero of Ages – Brandon Sanderson

Genre: Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Favorite line: “‘I ask of you your lives,’ Elend said, voice echoing, ‘and your courage. I ask of you your faith, and your honor–your strength, and your compassion. For today, I lead you to die. I will not ask you to welcome this event. I will not insult you by calling it well, or just, or even glorious. But I will say this. Each moment you fight is a gift to those in this cavern. Each second we fight is a second longer that thousands of people can draw breath. Each stroke of the sword, each monster felled, each breath earned is a victory! It is a person protected for a moment longer, a life extended, an enemy frustrated!’ There was a brief pause. ‘In the end, they will kill us,’ Elend said, voice loud, ringing in the cavern. ‘But first, they shall fear us!’”

My sincerest apologies for such a long favorite line, but I can’t help but get chills when I think of that scene. The refugees, cowering in dark caverns, awaiting an inevitable slaughter. Their benevolent ruler, giving one of the most amazing Braveheart-esque speeches in modern literature. Sigh . . . ya just can’t beat it.

Brandon Sanderson is a relatively new author to the genre of Sci-Fi/Fantasy, but I have literally no doubt that he will be known as one of the best. This book, The Hero of Ages, served as the climax to the best series of books I’ve ever read in my life. Hands down. Even if you don’t like this genre of fiction, you have to appreciate the absolute genius that is Sanderson’s Mistborn trilogy.

Peppered with enough loss to make the happy ending realistic, The Hero of Ages does not fall short in the realms of suspense, plot, mystery, climax and catharsis. It follows the story of a young man and woman, the former a ruler of a nation, the latter a one-time street rat raised to prestige after she liberated that nation from a tyrannical ruler, as they do their best to solve the riddles put forth by archaic text, settle the political intrigue abound in their nation, and, of course, save the world.

1. Letters to a Young Poet – Rainer Maria Rilke

Genre: Non-fiction

Favorite line: “This above all–ask yourself in the stillest hour of the night: must I write?” AND “. . . that something is difficult must be a reason the more for us to do it.”

I read this book in a single sitting just a few weeks ago. I’ve re-read it already. I knew a quarter of the way through that it would take first place on this “Top 10″ list. No book has ever had such an immediate profound impact on me as this one. Not even #4 on this list.

Touching upon life themes in a broad range, from love to solitude, sex to irony, loss to art, Letters to a Young Poet is a compilation of 10 letters written between 1903 – 1908 by Rainer Maria Rilke to a young man entering the military, though he would rather write poetry. He starts off asking for criticism from Rilke in regard to poems he sent him. Rilke’s response in the first paragraph of the first letter is this: “I cannot go into the nature of your verses; for all critical intention is too far from me. With nothing can one approach a work of art so little as with critical words: they always come down to more or less happy misunderstandings.”

The letters go on for five years, and while Franz Kappus, the young poet, still sends Rilke some poems, he seems to be more interested in simply interacting with the man than with his criticism. Rilke’s emphasis on criticism is that only you can aptly judge your own works of art, the concept itself being so personal so as that no outward eye can ever truly perceive it how you intended.

I honestly don’t know how best to paraphrase this book as I’ve done with the others. There is no plot. There is no climax. There is no suspense, no thriller, no zombies or murderers, nor damsels or fever pitches. The only way I can truly relay the message of this book to you is through the book itself. So thank you for reading my “Top 10 Books of 2011,” and I’ll leave you with the ineffable wisdom of Rainer Maria Rilke:

“Leave to your opinions their own quiet undisturbed development, which, like all progress, must come from deep within and cannot be pressed or hurried by anything. Everything is gestation and then bringing forth. To let each impression and each germ of a feeling come to completion wholly in itself, in the dark, in the inexpressible, the unconscious, beyond the reach of one’s own intelligence, and await with deep humility and patience the birth-hour of a new clarity: that alone is living the artist’s life: in understanding as in creating.”

“Do not observe yourself too much. Do not draw too hasty conclusions from what happens to you; let it simply happen to you.”

“To love is good, too: love being difficult. For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.”

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves . . .”

“It is true that many young people who love wrongly, that is, simply with abandon and unsolitarily (the average will of course always go on doing so), feel the oppressiveness of a failure and want to make the situation in which they have landed viable and fruitful in their own personal way . . .”
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“But if we nevertheless hold out and take this love upon us as burden and apprenticeship, instead of losing ourselves in all the light and frivolous play, behind which people have hidden from the most earnest earnestness of their existence–then a little progress and an alleviation will perhaps be perceptible to those who come long after us; that would be much.”

“Women, in whom life lingers and dwells more immediately, more fruitfully and more confidently, must surely have become fundamentally riper people, more human people, than easygoing man, who is not pulled down below the surface of life by the weight of any fruit of his body, and who, presumptuous and hasty, undervalues what he thinks he loves.”

“. . . that which we call destiny goes forth from within people, not from without into them.”

be a ‘yes man’

All too often in life we encounter people who try to crush our dreams. All too often in life we inadvertently crush our own dreams. We do this because we’re afraid. Of failure. Of change. Of embarrassment. Of someone telling us we’re not good enough.

But there comes a time, there comes a place, when this simply will not do. When confronted with a time and a place such as this, it’s time to say “screw it” and start being a ‘Yes Man.’

be contentious

Simply put: there are too many people in the world who don’t follow their dreams. Innumerable excuses exist as to why:

• It’s too hard – I can’t do it
• It will take too much time – time that I don’t have
• There’s too much risk involved – what if I fail?
• I don’t have the money – it costs too much
• I make a lot of money – why would I want to leave?
• I have a family – I have to focus on them
• I don’t want to fail – people will laugh at me
• I’m too old – I can’t change now
• More bullshit
• Even more bullshit

All of these excuses (because that’s what they are) resonate with the same complacency we see every day. Vacant stares. Going through the motions. Minds everywhere but here.

And yes, people probably will laugh at you when you fail. Not “if” you fail, but “when.” Because understand: You. Will. Fail. Now move on. Because when they laugh at you, when they sling their silent barbs and their mockery, when they tell all their friends you’re no good and everyone wonders why you even tried, you can laugh right back and tell them, “I’m not done. This is but a stepping stone. You are but a stepping stone. And you will watch as I crawl, tooth and nail, above and beyond you, accomplishing my dreams in the face of adversity, in the face of fear, in the face of all those who tell me ‘No’.” (you probably shouldn’t literally say this to them . . . might sound weird)

Embrace this battle. Embrace this discontent. And whatever you do, do not submit. “When you submit in spirit to aggressors or to an unjust and impossible situation, you do not buy yourself any real peace.” (from The 50th Law). Defy them in your own way and you will overcome.

Be contentious about issues like this that matter, issues that concern your dreams and ambitions. And sometimes, for the fun of it, be contentious about issues that don’t matter, simply to stir up some cognitive dissonance within others. Do something because someone says it can’t be done. If they’re smart, maybe you’ll shake them out of their own apathy.

If you don’t believe me, listen to some dead guy: “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

Stephen King was denied publication for his novels 29 times. James Joyce 33. But they fought. They said, “Yes, my work is good.” And they won.

However, in the light of all of the above, please avoid the whirlpool of idiocy this can sometimes generate:

• Don’t say yes to projects that, in your gut, you know you don’t want to or shouldn’t do
• If what makes you come alive is chopping down trees, killing puppies, or driving a Hummer that gets 9 miles to the gallon, you may want to rethink what makes you come alive. Others, and the environment, cannot be ignored
• Don’t do something simply to get a rise out of someone. Have a reason. An excess of heated emotion does not a good compatriot make

be content

Throughout all this, we must feel the discontent brewing within us. Feel the dissatisfaction with the status quo, with the relative comfort in which we find ourselves when we work jobs we hate for that biweekly paycheck so we can buy shit we don’t need. “People who cannot suffer can never grow up, can never discover who they are. . .” (again, The 50th Law)

And through all this, be content.

Feel the emotions rock and roil, embrace the anger at the crusher of dreams, feel your adrenaline pump, the creativity arise, the fluidity flow, and channel that into positive energy. Channel that energy into your passion, into your daily life.

And through all this, be content.

Understand, though, that we can’t win all the time. Someone’s “no” will overpower our “yes.” We will question others so completely that we will get lost in the argument with little hope of resurfacing.

And through all this, be content.

so the next time

The next time a boss or coworker tells you that you can’t do something, say “Yes I can.”

The next time someone tells you that you aren’t capable of following your dreams, say “Yes I am.”

So fight the dream crushers. Fight the sardonic. Fight those too afraid to pursue their dreams so they make it their mission to squash yours under their hypocritical heel. They will say no. And you will look them in the eye, contentment pasted upon your brow, and say yes.

See: “Be a No Man”

be a ‘no man’

All too often in life we encounter people who ride the wave of popular opinion. All too often in life we ourselves ride that wave. We do this because we don’t want to shake things up. We don’t want to piss someone off. We are comfortable with the status quo and aren’t in the mood for challenging ourselves or others.

But there comes a time, there comes a place, when this simply will not do. When confronted with a time and a place such as this, it’s time to say “screw it” and start being a ‘No Man.’

be contentious

I have few friends who agree with me on many things. In that same light I refuse to date a girl who won’t test me. And I prefer it that way. If all my friends agreed with me on everything, life would pose no challenge. Debate would hold no merit, as it would be nonexistent. Now that’s not to say they can’t be brought around to my point of view, or I to theirs (we should all be open-minded enough to allow our opinions to be swayed time and again), but sometimes we must argue simply for the sake of arguing. Here’s why:

We cannot advance ourselves without discontent. Without dissatisfaction. Without confrontation. Many people shy away from confrontation because it scares them, but it should be wholeheartedly embraced. The disillusioned hold the key to societal progression. Oscar Wilde said, “The world belongs to the discontented.” I agree with the intent of that saying, and I admire the concept of the Occupy movement for this reason alone. They are flipping the metaphorical, and sometimes physical, finger to the establishment. It takes balls (and some free time) to be able to do that.

Be contentious about issues like this that matter. And sometimes, for the fun of it, be contentious about issues that don’t, simply to stir up some cognitive dissonance within yourself. You may find that you question things more than you originally thought you did, an unwitting gift in the form of confusion. This is not a curse, but a blessing. If you don’t believe me, listen to some dead guy: “The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.”

However, in light of all of the above, please avoid the whirlpool of idiocy this can oft-times generate:

• Don’t argue about things you know nothing about
• Understand that things you know something about via personal experience, you may have no knowledge of in abstract form, or vice versa (i.e. I feel better when I don’t eat carbs means carbs are bad for me)
• If the other person is getting too heated, sometimes it’s better to just drop the issue. An excess of emotion does not a good argument make

Now if only my sober self could tell this to my 10-beer-deep self.

be content

Throughout all this, we must feel the discontentment brewing within us. We must feel the defiance, and the freedom that this brings. Stop saying yes all the time, stop agreeing with everyone, stop riding the wave of popular opinion. Stop being a paper sailboat drifting along in the gutter until the only thing that awaits you is the gaping darkness of the storm drain. Stop being a fucking pussy.

And through all this, be content.

We will lose arguments. Our reasoning will not prove sound. Our level of knowledge will not be sufficient. Someone’s “yes” will overpower our “no.” We will question ourselves so completely that we will get lost in the argument with little of hope of resurfacing.

And through all this, be content.

Life is mysterious. Life is nebulous. Life is immeasurable. Understand this. And when intellectual understanding is attained, realize it. Internalize it. It’s not all rainbows and kittens, but it’s also not all blood, sweat and tears. Life is imperfect at best. And in this imperfection, it is perfect.

so the next time

The next time a boss or coworker tells you to do something you disagree with, say no.

The next time someone says something so ridiculous you want to punch them right in the suckhole, say no.

The next time someone does something you deem immoral, say no.

And through everything, be content.

motivational mondays – word choice

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” is a good question for a child. We all have wants, we all have desires, and as children there is a myriad of desirable professions and occupations that run through our heads. Personally, I wanted to be a police officer, an architect, a history teacher, and play second base for the Cleveland Indians.

As a child, what was your answer to this question? Did you want to be the first astronaut to Mars? A special education teacher? An Olympic swimmer? Once you’ve remembered what your answer to that question was, answer this one:

“What will you be when you grow up?”

Does the answer change? If so, why? If your answer doesn’t change, stop reading this post.

the power of word choice

Back in June, I quit my 9-5 white-collar job to pursue a career as a full-time writer. Five months later, I’m writing literally thousands of words each day with the intent of publishing soon and it’s more thrilling than I ever believed possible. Back in May . . . hell, since the seventh grade, I would tell people “I want to be a writer.”

That word choice is no longer acceptable. Six months since May, I now tell people “I will be a writer.”

A powerful difference there.

The profundity of a single simple word should not go unnoticed or under-appreciated. Think of the best speeches you’ve ever heard. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s I Have a Dream speech. The simplicity of Steve Jobs’ Stanford Commencement Speech.  One meant for 21-year-old college grads, the loftier one for a discordant nation. Both knew their audience. Both chose their words based on that audience. Both are brilliant.

lofty to mundane

Speeches are easy to refer to in regard to word choice, but what about our daily interactions? Conversations we have every single day that we brush off as inconsequential.

They’re not.

Think about something as simple as a coworker asking you how your weekend was. Do you just say, “Good, how was yours?” Think about the difference when compared to this: “It was actually a really fun weekend!” Nothing groundbreaking, but a marked improvement. The latter depicts sincerity, like you’ve lent thought to the response and aren’t a blasted robot. That something this weekend was different. People recognize sincerity in conversation. They appreciate it. And they want to know more.

Straight up, when I worked in an office my response to that weekly question was nearly always “Good, how was yours?” I wanted to be noncommittal. I’m not very comfortable talking about myself to coworkers unless I’m good friends with them. But when looking back on it, think of how much I missed out on, how many positive relationships didn’t burgeon because of my lackluster? Even if it’s someone you don’t necessarily care to buddy up with, you never know how you can help each other out or what you may have in common. The least likely people, I’ve found, can push your life in a whole new direction you never thought possible.

honne vs. tatemae

Recognizing your choice of words is a mindset, an adjustment of your mental attitude. To elucidate, let’s refer to the Japanese.

A central theme to Japanese culture is the concept of honne vs. tatemae. Honne represents our deepest desires, those things we keep hidden except from our closest family and friends, and maybe even from them. Tatemae literally translates to facade, and refers to how you act in public in accordance with society.

This cuts to the core of how people change. Japanese culture leans toward the belief that to change, to truly change, you must first alter your actions (tatemae) and then your honne will change as a result (your inner feelings, desires, motivations, etc.). Western culture tends to believe exactly the opposite, with degrees of variation based on personal beliefs.

But this concept of word choice I’m discussing caters directly to the Japanese version of social constructs. In July, instead of saying “if I get published” I started saying “when I get published.” Instead of saying “I hope I can get a couple chapters done this weekend” I say “I’m gonna get shit DONE this weekend!” It’s vocal, it’s seen and it’s heard, and it’s motivating. And the best part? Now I do it.

moving forward

One of the rules of writing and speaking is this: to depict absolute truth, render it in the shortest possible sentence.

Use this mentality to improve yourself, either as a professional, within relationships, or simply as a human being. It’s time for us to think critically about how we present ourselves through our careful choice of words. It’s a conscious effort and it’s not easy – I can tell you that from personal and observed experiences – but it is very worth it. Simply the sense of confidence it lends is astounding, both with just evaluating the words you use to describe yourself or your actions and the motivating factor of saying something akin to: “I will be a writer.”

And better yet: “I am a writer.”