is too much good bad?

by

“Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.” ~Arthur Golden

Matt Barnes

I sit in a Lay-Z-Boy and eat bon-bons all day.

You know how people say bad things happen to the best people? You know, that family whose house was destroyed by a tornado. That humanitarian who contracts cancer. That community-oriented teenager killed by a drunk driver. You get the idea.

Well if that’s the case, I’m a really bad person, because bad things simply don’t happen to me. And I truly despise that.

Stick with me here. I know it sounds crazy but I’m being completely honest.

I’m 23 years old. I have a loving family, who have raised me the right way. I have great friends, who have not only stuck with me despite my propensity to be an asshole at times, but also driven or flown long distances

just to visit me. I went to a university that gave me numerous opportunities, from being on TV, traveling across th

e nation, winning an Emmy and a commercial/billboard. Oh, and I got a full scholarship to that university and because of that, am debt-free. At 23.

I could go on and on but I think you get my point. And I’m not laying all of this out to brag about my good fortune, but instead give you an idea of why I might feel the way I feel.

So why is all this bad? Because there’s no challenge to overcome. There’s no epiphany moment ever. In other words, it’s almost boring.

I have a friend who lost his job recently. For many, especially in this economy, that’s a traumatic experience. But he didn’t lose faith. He stayed positive and now, is in the midst of a 40-day tour playing at Open Mic nights across the nation. He’s making the best of an awful situation. And I’m truly jealous of him.

Do I want to lose my job right now? Not at all. But to be able to test myself and see how I would react to that situation would be great. I would like to think I would handle it with grace and maturity but I don’t know that. Because I truly have no precedent.

Another reason too much good may be bad is that I have a hard time understanding the pain/grief others feel in bad situations. In other words, I can be sympathetic for the person but not empathetic. I may feel for them, but I can’t feel with them.

Now don’t get me wrong. There are lots of bad things about me. My lack of athletic ability. My weakness to watch just about every reality TV show known to man. My love for losing teams like the Indians, Pacers and Blue Jackets. And so much more. But none of these are are bad things that happen to ME.

So what am I gonna do about this “problem” I have? Am I going to purposely break my leg? Try to contract some awful disease? Quit my job and “rough” it for a while? Nope, because that’s just stupid, as my feeling towards my distressful life is. But I hope someone out there can understand my thought process.

All I want is to be able to test myself. I want something bad to force me to bring out the best (or worst) in me. I want to become a better employee, better Christian, better friend, and a better person. It’s something that can be done without something awful happening to me, but it would also mean so much more.

For example, raising money for cancer awareness is great anytime. But when you’re raising money for cancer awareness in memory/honor of a loved one, it has more of a personal impact. I’m lacking that feeling, and it’s one I think I need to have to really see who I am.

Say what you want about how dumb, crazy, egotistical, heartless, or pathetic my thought process is. Trust me, I’ve heard it before. But I think I make a valid point. Becoming a better person takes more than just a change in heart or belief. It also takes a drastic change in your daily routine or lifestyle, that throws your world sideways. Unfortunately, mine is just filled with mini speed bumps and I would love nothing more to than to see that change so I can change for the better.

Advertisements

One Response to “is too much good bad?”

  1. Zre Says:

    Kind of like how I’ve always wanted to go to bootcamp, not for any military reasons, but just to see the shit get kicked out of me physically and mentally, and to see how I’d overcome. I think, deep down, we all wanted to be challenged and pushed to our limits – even further, maybe – no matter how shitty or impossible it seems within the moment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: